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Confessions of a Confused Soul



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Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons.  ~Author Unknown

I truly agree with this quote as childhood is one of the best stages in any body’s life. Those innocent eyes, dimpled smiles, impish faces…they seem to so full of life. Have you ever noticed a child who cannot be construed as cute? Because that is how we are when we are born - Loveable, cute and adorable. But over a period of time circumstances change us, and we become something we can no longer associate with our childhood. Our eyes loose the innocence as it begins to witness the harsh realities of this world. Our smiles fade as we come face to face with the shocking truths on which this world is thriving upon. And our faces are left as nothing more than the witness to the remnants of a storm that our life has gone through.

Though I have always been complimented for being too mature for my age, deep within I have a strong urge of always being a child, who simply refuses to grow up. I still see everything with a lot of curiosity, laugh out loud at any given opportunity, wish on stars, watch cartoon movies, read comics, collect glowing stickers, have a huge collection of stuff toys, do what my heart wants to at the drop of a hat be it breaking into an impromptu dance, singing out aloud (even when I know I sound horrible!) or just hugging someone tightly the moment we meet! More than anything else the reason for this is perhaps because I feel that I had to grow up very soon. Due to many reasons I never got to enjoy my childhood fully and hence I strive consciously to continue living my childhood even when I am way beyond that age. 

Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and dangerous. A child initially trusts life and the processes of life.John Bradshaw 

Imagine such a child being ruined because of things like CSA, prostitution, human trafficking, drugs, poverty, beggary, illegal adoption, child marriages, adultery, broken marriages ….. It blurs my eyes with tears even as I type this list. That child reaches a stage where he/she completely stops trusting life. What an ending to a beginning of a beautiful dream! 

If I had the power to change something, I would change…THIS! I would never want a child to lose his/her childhood to something so sinister. Each one of us has the right to existence and enjoying your childhood is one of the biggest blessings one can have. I wonder if people who do this to them, don’t have any conscience. I have undergone some-things and I would never want any child to experience it. It is hell to have to go through something like this and stifle a cry every time you think of your childhood. Though as an adult I have managed to overcome everything but there is still a child in me who sometimes just wants to scream and ask WHY ME? What did I do to be punished so severely that I was deprived of my childhood?

Childhood is the place where we all create beautiful memories and in the worst situations of life they help us face them with a smile. It acts as a base for the future that we would be living in. And having a base which itself is shaky, does not give the picture of a promising future! Every time I read about any such incident in the newspaper, my heart goes out to that child. I feel sad for that child having to lose its childhood, for that confused soul who does not know why is it happening to him/her of all people and does not have any one to deal with his/her fears. No wonder we see so many teenage crimes and suicides around us.  Such confused childhoods undoubtedly lead to a more confused youth and adulthood.


When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children; even if we love them, they show us the state of our decay. Brian W. Aldiss 

I am willing to forgive all the murderers and thieves of the world, but I am not willing to forgive these murderers and thieves who steal the innocence and kill the soul of a child!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

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