Skip to main content

Guilty my Lord!



Yesterday when the Delhi gang-rape girl succumbed to her injuries somewhere in Singapore there was something that died in every Indian woman. More than anything else it was the hope, hoping for things to change, hoping to feel safe in her own country and hoping to not be blamed for a crime committed on her.

That girl might have died physically yesterday but actually we had killed her long back already. We killed her when we blamed her for all that she went through. Though if I ask who is to be blamed for this, there are a lot of voices which will say the system and law and order. But there are also many voices which said it’s her fault to be out at this time. Or rather should I say it’s her fault she was born a woman in our country. I am shocked at the thoughts of the society where they surprisingly blame a woman for any untoward incident happening with her. 

When I was abused as a child – I was blamed for it.

When as a teenager some random youth molested me on the road – I was blamed for it.





I was asked to dress more decently, pretend to be coy and not behave in a manner which was attracting. I cried a lot at that time, thinking I am unfortunate to have been born in a conservative society and I thought things would change once I grow up. But sadly things still remain the same. Today when I face indecent proposals at work place; I am blamed for it. In the Bijal case of 2003, she was blamed and in the Park Street case also she was blamed. Nothing has changed. Neither has the culprit, nor the treatment being vetted out in such cases. Be it acid attacks, molestation, eve teasing or rape. The victim is the culprit. That is the diktat. 

We women seem to have some magical ability to create trouble around us every time! We attract problems like a magnet. I wonder if the people who blame us even would have said the same things had it been someone from their own closed family or friends. Whom are they trying to fool when we say we have progressed a lot as country and as a society and that they believe in equality between men and women? Where is the equality when it comes to safety on roads for us? Why is that if we dress up in a particular manner it is construed as an open invitation? Why that is some people have the right to be the moral police and hand us a list of do’s and don’ts while actually they are the very people who create the problems in the first place. Every time we have asked such questions we have been handed over a bunch of lies wrapped up in one line which makes us the culprit. 






The only thing that I would like to say is – 

Guilty my lord! It’s my fault that I am born a girl and hence all this is happening with me! After being through so many endless blames I want to add one more to the this list by committing female foeticide. For I cannot let another Me be born and undergo all these things. I would rather gift her death before she is born rather than giving her a new death every day.


Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: Desiccated Land by David Lepeska

  ISBN: 978-9395481205  Genre: Non-fiction Publisher: Vishwakarma Publications  Bringing together his experiences as a journalist and a keen observer, David Lepeska writes a raw and gut-wrenching book on Kashmir. Part memoir, part travelogue, and part reportage, Desiccated Land is a page-turner.  The book starts by tracing the history of the region along with his own history, as a student who was dimly aware of the history of Kashmir and the turmoil it has been causing for centuries between India and Pakistan. Lepenska takes us to Nilamata Purana ( likely written in the 7th century ) which tells us the story leading to the birth of this region. He also shares an alternate possibility of the word being derived from a lake ‘Mira’ named after Vedic Sage Kashyapa.  His first visit to Kashmir closely followed by his second (and much longer) visit as a journalist working for the Kashmir Observer after the 9/11 attacks, make for an interesting read. Lepeska had questions, a lot of them. An

From there to here to where

From this blog in 2011 to Barnes and Noble website, my reviewing journey has been full of surprises.  I am working on an essay tracing it and realized that I started reviewing books in 2001 (Yes! I am old) for a small library next to my house. Needless to add, my payment was in the books. The library owner also happened to be the first person who taught me how to write a book review and what to focus on. And that is where I learned why reviews matter.  Cut to 2016 when my book review was taught in a Literary Criticism class held by British Library. A relative happened to attend that class and the news spread like wildfire in the family. That is the moment when my family knew this much more than just a hobby. 

Book Review: Never Mind Yaar by K Mathur

Introduction ·          ISBN - 978-0-473-17480-4 ·          Genre: Fiction ·          Publishers: Southpac Publishers ·          Price: Rs. 350/- ( I got this book from Blog Adda for a review ) The title is an attitude - our tendency to feel defeated by the scale and nature of certain problems. Rather than meet them head on, we circumvent them with a sigh and a consoling “never mind, yaar”. When long time friends Binaifer Desai and Louella D’Costa meet Shalini Dayal at Gyan Shakti College, a true friendship that transcends cultural and religious backgrounds is born. Louella is a Christian, Binaifer, a Parsi and Shalini, a Hindu. The novel’s main plotline surrounds Shalini who has fallen for an impetuous student activist, Bhagu. Where does his desire to help the less fortunate lead him? The challenges are many - Shalini’s tradition bound family, the couple’s youth and inexperience and the travails of life in Mumbai, a city the girls love but know, is fraug